Another Day at the Office

6:13 AM -- Just got back. Shit, that was close. I had to practically sell my soul to get that picture deleted. Lucky for me that Bob had to go take a dump. Only problem was he had just started the backup, so I bumped into the tape to stop it and the frigging server went down. Oh well, he'll be so busy cleaning that shit up he won't have time to figure out what happened.

6:22 AM -- Gordon called back. His back is worse than they thought. He was leaving the hospital and had to go back. He told them he slipped on some dog poop that was out front and now they're worried he's going to sue 'em. They're admitting him for observation.

6:41 AM -- Jerry just got in. Man, he's such a prick. His "Pammy" just walked him to his desk, as always, and played tickle the tonsils with him just for my benefit. Damned contractors and their girlfriends. Think I'll call H.R. and see if this is sexual harassment.

7:19 AM -- Got another call from Gordon. Apparently he has a ruptured disc and is going into emergency surgery.

7:32 AM -- Got a note about a special meeting. The loon that freaked out yesterday screwed up the source code and we're gonna have to re-do some stuff. Be back later.

9:17 AM -- Boy, what a ball buster. That wacko really trashed the project. Apparently he checked out nearly all the modules and massacred half the code. They also mentioned that the backup was no good because that moron Bob screwed it up this morning. God smiles on me.

9:49 AM -- Finally got PointCast going and downloaded the news. There's another article about porno here at Macrosoft. Uh-oh, better do some clean up work.

10:13 AM -- Finished re-formatting my drive and loading Netscape since at least it works. Now, I'm waiting for the system to finish loading. I took my zip drive down to the car and tucked it away in the trunk.

10:27 AM -- Ah, espresso at last. Just in time. I have a spec meeting in three minutes.

11:45 AM -- Another meeting from hell. I don't know why they call them specs. You never actually see them until the project is done and off to shipping. I'm going to lunch.

12:12 PM -- Got lunch. Boy, this pizza is the best. I don't know what it is about the cheese though. Looks a little like a dried booger. They finally got Jolt on tap in the cafeteria. About damned time.

12:26 PM -- Finished lunch. Went to take a dump but the line was too long. Ran into Leslie in the hall and she told me I looked nice. Hmmm... I wonder what she wants. Reminds me. Better call H.R. about the "lip lizards."

1:03 PM -- Called H.R. and talked to Rebecca. She said I might have a case for sexual harassment if Pammy-baby was making any eye contact with me while they were sucking face. I Suppose I could lie. Bitch wants me anyway; I can tell.

1:41 PM -- Jerry just left, glaring like the prick he is. I think Rebecca just nabbed his ass. Ha! Bite me, you moron.

1:48 PM -- Jeez, I was getting grumpy. Got a double latte. That should bring me down a little. Gordon's wife left a message on my machine saying that he is paralyzed from the neck down. They think it's permanent. Just hope the bastard can't talk either. I'm calling my lawyer.

2:16 PM -- Rebecca called back and has her titties in a tizzy. Seems Jerry the Fairy took Pammy-Eats-My-Hammy down to her office and mentioned that little incident from last week. I told her it wasn't even close to a grope, more like a wedgie. Oh, well, something else for the lawyer.

2:29 PM -- Well gag me with a frigging spatula! Another new guy. Damned contractors. Make more money than us and have that innocent look. Bradford, huh. That's your name? Okay, scumbag, the next virus will be named after you.

2:52 PM -- Whew. Went down to the car and took a shot of NyQuill. Man, I gotta come down a little. Call the lawyer. Call the lawyer.