Another Day at the Office

3:20 PM -- Oh shit! Damned lawyer called me! Gordon just croaked and the cops want to talk to me at five. The freaky bastard anyway. What the hell did he think I was, a frigging chiropractor?


3:51 PM -- Damned nose is spewing blood like a fire hydrant. Be back in a minute.

4:16 PM -- Got the bleeding stopped but Janitorial is livid. They say the stain won't come out of the carpet but hell, it's already kind of red.

4:58 PM -- Just got handed a notice to appear before the harassment board on Monday. That ass Jerry. I'll get him and that prissy bitch too.

5:22 PM -- Ah, dinner. At least the NyQuill is working a little. These pizza rolls are the greatest. Gotta get me some next month when I go to the store.

5:55 PM -- Cops showed up because I forgot to go see them. Damned Gestapo gave me the third degree. The lawyer was already here because Jerry filed a lawsuit. Gordon's wife is on her way over with a gun.

6:29 PM -- Man, what a day. Gordon's wife was caught in the parking lot but wouldn't leave until she was allowed to bitch me out. They took me downstairs and I faced her. Then all hell broke loose when her dog jumped out of their Jeep and attacked my groin. Bitch must have had him trained by some feminist group. Just stopped in to get my jacket before they take me over to the hospital.

8:51 PM -- Back at last. Damned dog did some damage. Five stitches and some rabies shots. I still don't know what the penicillin was all about. They didn't even have any real coffee there. Gotta go get a cup.

9:00 PM -- Cops just phoned. I have to be at the courthouse tomorrow morning for arraignment. They said I should bring my attorney. Ha, ha, joke's on them. We'll be there anyway dealing with Jerry and Pammy.

9:36 PM -- Got the virus finished and zapped it over to that new asshole's system. Have a nice breakfast, you dillweed.

9:58 PM -- Last code for the day. I finished the new voice help feature. This is gonna be cool. I fixed one section extra special. If you play it backwards it says "Pammy fucks the band". Man, technology is great.

10:25 PM -- Talked to the lawyer. He said I should bring extra clothes tomorrow.

10:49 PM -- Shit! Circuit breaker in the kitchen went out. Nothing is working. Damn. There was only one Jolt left. Better make it last.

11:22 PM -- Couldn't find my porno mags. I think Jerry got them. God, court is going to be a bitch. Worse than last year.

11:43 PM -- Called mom. She said I didn't get any mail. No news is good news, I guess. She mentioned that my dog died last week. Asked if I would be home soon.

12:32 AM -- Well, I think the day is over. I'm going to crash if I can find a bloodless spot on the floor. Gotta set the computer to wake me up early. Big day tomorrow. Goodnight.


Any similarities between this and any real company are intentionally coincidental.

Contributed by: Morg